“Pick up your pen, Ann, and write. I have a message for you. I am here with My mother. We love you so much. We love all our children. Trust us. Trust in our love. We care for you. We will guide you in paths of holiness if you let Us.
I say, if you let Us, because in My love I have given you freedom – freedom of will to choose to follow what is good, holy and true or to reject truth and goodness. I never force you. You must choose the way of love and goodness freely. I show you the way. I set the path before you. Follow Me.
The way of love and goodness is the way of the cross. What is meant by the way of the cross? Selflessness – giving yourself to the other fully, which always entails a cost – a denial of self – a pain and suffering, as the self is denied, suppressed, crushed in its own desires and passions and will to gift the other with pure love. It is easy to do this if you love Me, for I fill you with Myself – filling your heart with the fire and power of My love which is pure selflessness.
I Am Love – pure, true love, which empties itself into hearts which open to receive Me. In this way you can love your neighbor, even your enemy, because you have Me and receive My love in its fullness. Come to Me. Learn to love.
Learn to die to yourself that you may empty yourself out on others for love of Me and in My powerful love. Give yourselves up to Me that I may give Myself totally to you, filling your open heart with My pure love.”
“Ann, Ann, Ann, I am here with My mother. We wish to speak to you Our message.
See this hurting world? My children must act with love to relieve some of its pain. Hearts are hard; they do not care with tenderness and compassion for the plight of those around them. You are My body – My hands and feet, My arms of mercy to the suffering. Lift up your eyes and see, souls not only ripe for the harvest, but ripe for the healing of body and soul. Children are starving. Mothers are in agony to see their children suffer malnutrition and starvation.
Be generous of heart and help them. Feed them and pray for them. Pray that hearts are opened and converted to see the pain of My little ones who are hungry and helpless. They are dying for lack of food, for want of clean water, for the warmth of a blanket. My children, do you not have eyes to see and hearts to feel for My littlest ones throughout the world? Wake up your heart from the slumber of apathy and selfishness, greed and self indulgence. Give generously, work with vigor and zeal to help your fellow man – your brothers and sisters – all who are My dear children.
You are My body. Serve Me by your works to care for these, the least of My children. In them, you find Me. Give yourself totally to Me by loving and serving your neighbors, both near and far. Care, for Christmas is coming. I came to you as a helpless Baby, in the flesh, in humility and poverty, in the manger. Remember Me in the innocents – the little children throughout the world. Love Me in them. Cradle them in your hearts as My mother cradled Me.”
“Be at peace, Ann. Times are coming that will be very hard, but you are not to fear. The world is spiraling out of control. It is a disaster of sin and evil and I can no longer hold back My hand of chastisement. Fires are raging everywhere and are a sign of the fires of sin sweeping the world.
The winds of evil spread the fires of sin to all corners of the world. Few, only a small remnant, of My holy ones resist this evil and hold back My hand of justice by their prayers and sacrifices. Without their devotion to Me, to My ways, My truth, the world would combust into a flaming conflagration.
The prayers of My faithful ones is like a heavenly dew that soaks the fires of justice – holding back My hand from pouring out My wrath of punishment on an evil world – a world that has forgotten Me, that spits in My face, that shows only contempt for Me and My merciful love.
What can I do? What more can I do as I have given everything to the last drop of My blood to save a sinful humanity. They do not want Me – My love or mercy / they carry on as they are their own gods. They cannot save themselves. They have no power of their own. They are nothing without Me. There is no life without Me. They sink further and further into the fires of hell which rage to receive them.
O how My heart aches and pines for their love. If they would only just turn to Me and I would forgive them and save them and bring them to Myself – to My heavenly abode, which is light and love and peace and joy – all fullness of all goodness. Yet they choose hell. Pray for them. Pray hard for them and offer more sacrifices so they will escape the fires of hell which lick at their feet even now.” Jesus
Dear Ann, I am here with My mother. How We love you, dear child. Continue on the path you are going. We are with you, guiding you in holiness and love. This is Our path. Those who love Us walk on it. Take Our hands and walk with Us. Do not run.
Walking calmly and steadily, take your time to be prudent and wise, as you face the rocks and boulders of life’s trials that appear on the road of life. Patience, perseverance will gain holiness. Fortitude is a gift We bestow on those who persevere. Piety is a fruit of perseverance. Wisdom, counsel, understanding and knowledge are fruits of perseverance in piety – in other words, prayer which grows faith.
Faith overcomes the world and it’s evils. Faith conquers sin. Faith achieves all things. Faith is My life flowing in you, giving you strength to overcome sin and evil. Faith is the power of love. Love is victorious, for I am Love.
Love your neighbor and your enemies in the power of My love, which overcomes the world and conquers all darkness. My love is the light of the world. And in Me there is no darkness or shadow, for I am love and mercy – pure light.
The light of My love brightens hearts and produces joy. Love and be filled with joy. To do good is to love. It is one and the same. Go out into the darkness of the world and bring light. Do good, which is to love, in the power of My love.”
In the summer of 2010 my daughters and I came home for 7 week visit to the USA. My own family had been living in Israel for a couple of years by then, and we missed America. So we travelled back to my childhood home in New Jersey where my parents were still living.
We had a wonderful summer hanging around with my mother and father, sharing the simple pleasures of life: conversations over meals, coffee on the deck, shopping for food, and making small outings together. In September we returned so the girls could start a new academic year at their international school.
After a little while, as I was busy with my usual daily routines in Israel, I began to notice powerful sensations welling up in my heart that I came to realize were the deepest sentiments of love that I had ever felt for my parents during all of my life.
In all my fifty years I had never experienced such overwhelming emotions of love for my mother and father as I felt for them at that time. I became aware that this exceptional passionate love was not of my own making, but arose in my heart from an “extra”ordinary outpouring of grace by the Holy Spirit. As I came to realize this as a profound supernatural grace at work within my heart, I was deeply moved to thank and praise the Lord for this ordinary gift He was bestowing on me.
The light and love that the Holy Spirit was pouring into me drove me into deep prayer and I cried out to the Lord that He not take my mother and father from me as I loved them so much and needed them too. I was rather confounded in my intellect about these supplications – that the Lord must not take my parents away from me – as to my reasonable mind they seemed a rather odd response to such deep, positive, fiery emotions of love. I didn’t really know why I was praying such things.
During one of my telephone calls to my parents I opened my heart and told my parents of these strange new feelings – that a marvelous, mysterious wave of love had washed over my heart – and that I felt I now loved them more than I had ever loved them before, and I wanted them to know it. Not long after this telephone conversation, my father called me and stunned me with the remarkable and unexpected news that my mother had been just diagnosed with a late stage, incurable ovarian cancer.
I reflected that the Lord went before me and that through His signal grace of flooding my heart with torrents of His merciful love for my parents, He had prepared me for this challenging trial. Filled to overflowing with the Lord’s own divine love, I immediately booked a flight home to be at the hospital bedside of my mother who would undergo a massive surgery and then need chemotherapy for the rest of her life.
I remained with them for more than five weeks in America to attend to the physical, emotional, and spiritual needs of both of my elderly parents.
My husband, daughters and I moved home to America in June 2011. We would now be near to my parents to support them. My father’s mental and emotional state began to deteriorate rapidly upon learning of my mother’s cancer. His depression worsened, his anxiety increased astronomically, and his behavior became erratic and highly agitated, with frequent uncontrolled outbursts of anger and violence. His memory was failing him. He was confused and was unable to process what was going on around him. The situation of my mother and father became quite chaotic and dangerous as my father’s dementia increased. The problems and difficulties were further exacerbated by the fact that my middle aged sister was living with them in a state of chronic alcoholism. The troubles and needs of my parents and sister had become monumental.
I loved them all so much and desired with all my heart to help each one of them, and being the oldest daughter and closest to them, I felt responsible and considered it my loving duty to handle everything. I plunged head long into the role of caregiver to the three of them with all my heart, mind, soul and strength. I worked, strived, managed, scrambled, and wore myself to the bone trying to do it all. The Lord had placed in me a huge reservoir of His divine love, and during that trip back home in 2010 I had drawn deeply from that well.
But as the demands increased and challenges mounted during the subsequent years of 2011, 2012, 2013 and 2014 I found myself sinking under their weight and falling into despair. I couldn’t handle it anymore. I was burnt out, stressed to the uttermost, at my wits end, desperately wanting the persons I loved to be free of their torments, as I suffered in my heart to see them suffering so, trapped in their own unique incurable conditions: mom with terminal cancer, dad with Alzheimer’s and my 52 year old sister with late stage liver disease, with no hope for a liver transplant, as she was still drinking and would surely die soon without one.
My mind and heart were warring with each other, as temptation after temptation assailed me, at one moment my heart was yearning to find still another possible way to save them and make them well, and the next moment my thoughts were replete with despair (or was it the Evil One’s suggestion?) thinking that it would be better if they died – if the Lord would take them to Himself and end their misery, and free me from this agony of caring and responsibility. I could not find rest or peace in the Serenity Prayer, although I knew it was true.
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference
One afternoon before Easter 2014 I went to the chapel in a state of utter desperation. I cried out to the Lord with all my strength of agony and pitiful misery that I had come to the end of myself. There was nothing left in me. I was empty as a dry well. I was exhausted from the trials. I had no more to give and I was falling into bitterness and anger. I pleaded for Him to save me from myself, to lift me up from the quick sand that I was sinking in, from the slippery slope of the abyss that loomed before me. I was afraid. I felt my humanness, my misery, my wretchedness, my utter helplessness, and I cried to the Lord of Mercy to have mercy on me. Went I was totally spent in prayer, I sat in complete silence before Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament like a baby being held exhausted and limp in her mother’s arms after a furious crying spell and I fell asleep.
When I awoke from this sweet sleep about an hour later I recalled my agonizing prayer. I serenely asked the Lord for wisdom to help me go on. Just then I heard an interior Voice say to me, “Ephesians 6.” A little distance from me on the pew was a paperback Bible. At first I was hesitant to reach for it to open it to the book and chapter spoken to me. I was afraid that my faith would be stumbled. The thought came to me that if I should open the book and read Ephesians 6 and it not have any meaning for me, that I would then know that I was deluded – that I was imagining the Lord had spoken to me, and what utter vanity and pride this would be. I overcame this fear and reached for the book, and opening it to the New Testament Epistle of Ephesians, chapter 6, I looked down at the first verse and was immensely astonished. The words were Living and True – the words were Jesus Christ the Lord Who was speaking
“Honor your father and mother.” This is the first commandment with a promise,
“that it may go well with you and that you may have a long life on earth” ( Ephesians 6: 1).
My heart was racing with joy and amazement as I continued reading Ephesians 6.
Finally, draw your strength from the Lord and from His mighty power…
Put on the armor of God so that you may be able to stand firm against the tactics of the devil.
For our struggle is not with flesh and blood but with the principalities, with the powers, with the world rulers of this present darkness, with the evil spirits in the heavens.
Therefore, put on the armor of God, that you may be able to resist on the evil day and, having done everything, to hold your ground.
So stand fast with your loins girded in truth, clothed with righteousness as a breastplate,
and your feet shod in readiness for the gospel of peace.
In all circumstances, hold faith as a shield, to quench all the flaming arrows of the evil one.
And take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God…
…With all prayer and supplication, pray at every opportunity in the Spirit… (Ephesians 6)
I knew that Jesus had just answered me and given me His Divine Wisdom. I knew this beyond any shadow of doubt, because I could not deceive or lie to myself, as I knew for certain that I DID NOT KNOW what was written in Ephesians 6. I could not have said this to myself. With this substantial Word from the Lord, I received not only wisdom from Jesus, but His grace, power and strength to do what His Word commanded! The good Lord raised me up in an instant and empowered me to carry on doing His perfect Will:
Over the months to come my dear sister continued to decline and she passed to the Lord on October 2, 2014, dying in the state of grace, having been blessed with every spiritual gift before she crossed into eternity. I was able to arrange the spiritual support she needed, caring Christian hospice and a Catholic funeral Mass and burial. She is in Peace now with Jesus. My father is now being cared for in an Alzheimer’s facility which I was able to arrange for him. I am looking after my mother who continues to live with stage four cancer but my heart is full of joyful confidence in the Lord Who:
“The LORD helps the fallen and lifts those bent beneath their loads.” (Psalm 145:14)
”Surely God is my help; the Lord is the one who sustains me.”(Psalm 54:4)
“Uphold me that I may be safe, That I may have regard for Your statutes continually.”(Psalm 119:117)
I awake this day and I thank You for Your gift of Life
for the joy of hearing the sounds of the morning
a wondrous cacophony of Your creation
the chirping crickets
the roisterous tweeting, crackling, squawking of the birds
the sweet cooing of the mourning doves
the melodious chimes on my neighbor’s porch tinging in the gentle breeze
the distant rumbling of a jet passing overhead
the wooshing of cars both near and far
popping of staple guns from the construction site
tapping of pipes in this old house
the creaking of doors and floors
the grumbling of my tummy telling me it’s time for breakfast.
But lo! I am hungry for You
for Your heavenly food
Your Body and Your Blood
which gives me the strength to run the race of this day
and complete its course,
until dusk comes and
then I will thank Your for the living of this day
and the pleasant repose of this night.
I shall listen to the sounds of the evening
as all of creation
settles down into quiet and silence
and I can hear Your still small voice speaking to my heart,
“Goodnight, sweet child, until the morrow,
rest now in My arms of Peace”
Copyright©, Ann Ammar 9-8-2014
James, did you say a prayer
or were you silent as you listened to angels’ wings
brushing against your hair?
Your face so fair
You held yourself with great courage and marvelous dignity
The nation grieves
Good people weep
You’ll surely exchange your prisoner’s orange gown
with a holy robe of liberty.
James, did you see your Lover’s eyes
looking into yours
as you gazed across the horizon of Eternity?
His Face so fair
You witnessed to the sanctity of life against their brutality
The Heavens heave
With sighs of mercy
You’ll surely receive the Victor’s golden crown
God’s prize for love and humility.
Easter 2014 is almost here. I have been a believing Christian since 2000, when I experienced a radical conversion from agnosticism to a living faith in Jesus Christ, as my personal Lord and Savior. On that Easter in 2000, when I truly first believed that Jesus died on the cross to save me from my sins, and that He had risen from the dead, Jesus revealed to me the power of His saving love in a most personal and extraordinary way. I will now share the account of what happened at the midnight hour as the evening of Holy Saturday 2000, became Easter Sunday morning, the Day of our Lord’s glorious resurrection.
A devout evangelical Christian friend of mine, Joanne, whom the Lord used to help bring me to faith in Jesus Christ, as my personal Lord and Savior, had won two tickets to see Andrew Lloyd Webber’s musical, “Jesus Christ Superstar.” This show was being performing at a local theater on Holy Saturday, the night when the church keeps vigil at Christ’s tomb, awaiting His glorious Resurrection on Easter Sunday morning.
Very early on Sunday morning the women went to the tomb, carrying the spices that they had prepared. When they found the stone rolled away from the entrance, they went in. But they did not find the body of the Lord Jesus, and they did not know what to think. Suddenly two men in shining white clothes stood beside them. The women were afraid and bowed to the ground. But the men said, “Why are you looking in the place of the dead for someone who is alive? Jesus isn’t here! He has been raised from death. Remember that while He was still in Galilee, He told you, ‘The Son of Man will be handed over to sinners who will nail Him to a cross. But three days later He will rise to life.’ (Luke 24: 1-8)
I picked Joanne up at her home and we drove together to the theater, which was about a thirty minute drive from our town, to an area of which I was unfamiliar.
Joanne, many years before, had given her life to Jesus Christ as her Lord and Savior. We were both passionately in love with our Divine Bridegroom. As we drove to the theater together that evening, our hearts were united in faith and love, and profound gratitude, to Jesus our Savior, for the gift of eternal life that His passion and resurrection made possible for us.
Andrew Lloyd Webber’s moving musical presentation of Jesus Christ’s life, death, and resurrection, lifted our souls to a state of deep worship and adoration. The performance concluded shortly before midnight. We left the theater with our hearts filled with intense joy and deep thanksgiving, as we appreciated how much God loves us, to send His Son into the world, to save us from our sins, and to give us His eternal life.
For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, so that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life. (John 3:16)
When we got into the car, Joanne told me to buckle my seatbelt. It is difficult for me to relate to you the sense I had within myself, when she said these words to me, since it would seem quite natural that a good friend would care about my safety, and would remind me to buckle my seatbelt before we set out driving. It would seem to be nothing out of the ordinary. But, as soon as she said these words to me, I had a mysterious sensation within my spirit. Yet, as quickly as I sensed it, the awareness of its peculiarity left me. I buckled my seatbelt and thought no more about it. Later, I came to understand that it was the Holy Spirit speaking these words to me through her.
We set out for home. Once we left the area around the theater, the roads we entered were very dark. As I drove down the road, I felt we were going in the wrong direction. I slowed down, and looked all around, to see if it was clear to make a U-turn. There were no other cars coming or going in either direction. Turning my steering wheel to the left, I began my U-turn.
Suddenly, my steering wheel was jerked by an unseen power, which turned my car sharply back towards the right. Just then, a taxi which did not have its headlights on smashed into my car driver’s side at high speed. If the steering wheel had not been jerked to the right at that precise moment, the car would have hit us head on.
We felt the powerful impact as my car was hit broadside. Joanne and I were numb with shock. When it penetrated our minds what had just happened, we realized that neither one of us had any injuries. Had I not been wearing my seatbelt, I may have been killed. If the steering wheel had not been jerked to the right, we surely could have been killed in the head-on collision that would have resulted. My car had been “totaled.” It could not be driven at all, and needed to be towed. Yet, we were safe and uninjured. To this day, I believe it must have been an angel, who supernaturally took over my steering wheel, to turn my car to the right in that critical moment, to prevent a head-on collision with the speeding taxi without its lights on.
We stepped out of the car uninjured, yet in shock. In the impact of the collision, the dark taxi that hit us, had been propelled quite a distance further down the road. As we stood outside my wrecked car in numbed disbelief, a stranger suddenly appeared to help us. What was this man doing there on this dark rural road at midnight on Holy Saturday? We immediately and gratefully accepted the “good Samaritan’s” help. He took charge of everything. He checked to see if we were injured. Then, he went over to the taxi to check on the driver with whom we had no contact at all during the entire accident. He called the police and filed the accident report for us and arranged for the towing of my car. He managed everything for us quickly and efficiently. Then he told us he would drive us home!
It was just after midnight and had become Easter Sunday morning! We got into the car of the “good Samaritan” and saw that it was filled with Bibles! He prayed for us as he drove us all the way to our homes.
I was alive. I was 40 years old. That day was the first Easter of my life that I had living faith – that I believed in Jesus Christ, the risen Lord, and my Savior. How awesomely Jesus had revealed His saving love to us through these miraculous events!
The Holy Spirit inspired Joanne to tell me to “buckle my seat beat” so I would be protected from death. The only wise God, the all-knowing Lord of Life knew what was coming. The Lord had His angel take control of my steering wheel in the split second needed to save both of His beloved children’s lives. Then, He sent the stranger to come our aid in the darkness of night, in a lonely place, to help us, pray for us, bless us, and bring us safely home.
“Do not let your hearts be troubled. You have faith in God; have faith also in Me.
In My Father’s house there are many dwelling places. If there were not, would I have told you that I am going to prepare a place for you?
And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back again and take you to Myself, so that where I am you also may be.
Where I am going you know the way.”
Thomas said to him “Master, we do not know where You are going; how can we know the way?”
Jesus said to him, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me.
If you know Me, then you will also know My Father. From now on you do know Him and have seen Him.”
Philip said to Him, “Master, show us the Father, and that will be enough for us.”
Jesus said to him, “Have I been with you for so long a time and you still do not know Me, Philip? Whoever has seen Me has seen the Father…”
“I will not leave you orphans; I will come to you.
In a little while the world will no longer see Me, but you will see Me, because I live and you will live…”
“Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give it to you. Do not let your hearts be troubled or afraid.
You heard me tell you, ‘I am going away and I will come back to you.’ And now I have told you this before it happens, so that when it happens you may believe.”
(John 14: 1-10, 18-20, 27-29)
Jesus is God. He gives eternal life to everyone who will put their faith and trust in Him. You can trust Him! He loves you!